Hallucination part 2
Jason made me get dressed and put me back to bed to get some rest.

Jason and I talked and I thought it was the old days.

Deliriousness aside I think I yearn for the old days when Jason and I had just met.

Before I screwed everything up.

The relationships I've had with men have been anything but stable.

With Sonny I was co-dependant,but when we got together after having a fight the sex was great!

I know I've actually acted irrationally where he is concerned.

With Lorenzo I think I just used him to make Sonny jealous. However my obsession with Sonny killed my relationship with Lorenzo.

I also know that Lorenzo used me to get to Sonny and that isn't healthy either.

I have this unnatural attachment to men who promise the moon and the stars and then turn around and whatever mistakes I made in the past or present come back to bite me on the ass.

I couldn't live with the fact that Lorenzo used me just as much as I used him.

In hallucination state I brought up my past mistakes and Jason told me that he would help me when I asked for it.

I passed out again and when I woke up I screamed for Jason and told him I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

Jason told me everything I said in my hallucination state and I am embarrassed about it. I really lost it didn't I?

But at least I can admit that Jason is my best friend and I am gratful to him for everything he's ever done for me.

I rehashed the time Robin let the cat out of the bag about Michael's real father AJ.

I told Jason I regretted cheating on him with Sonny and he told me that I shouldn't.

I talked about my relationship with Sonny and Jason told me that I still loved Sonny.

Jason told me he loved me,but that he wasn't in love with me and that's ok by me.

We talked about my nervous breakdown and I told him I would trade it for a trip to tuscany.

I also told him that Sonny and I almost destroyed each other with the way we both are.

I asked Jason when the helicopter was coming and I told him I didn't think I could walk.

Jason helped me walk and I told him that we have to find Lucky.

I swear if we don't find Lucky uncle Luke was going to have my head on a silver platter.

I just can't see myself like a pig with an apple in its mouth it just doesn't appeal to me.