Deception
Dear Diary,

So I was at Sonny's and I kissed him.

I told him I cared about him still and that's why I did it. I can't stand the thought of Emily with Sonny.

He yelled at me for doing it. Poor little miss prissy pants ran out. Aww I upset her little feelings.

I told Sonny the was scaring me with the drinking and I told him that I'm glad I kissed him so Emily would go back to her old life.

Sonny still thinks I'm crazy,but I told him that I didn't care Emily thought we were back together.

He said " What are we supposed to do? Say when we're not together?"

I told him we would say it didn't work out.

Jason showed up at Sonny's and I told him that I'd rather have Emily blame Sonny and me for what happened.

Anyways I went to the hospital and asked Robin where Patrick was. Of course she gave me a snide remark and when I saw Patrick she interefered into our conversation.

Yea and people think I'm an intrusive bitch.

Patrick told Robin to butt out of our conversation and that he can take care of himself.

We left her eating our dust and headed over to the metrocourt where we got ourselves a room.

Patrick said he liked my using him. Ha ha he wishes.

Once upon a time I would have acted on my hormones,but I told him I've changed.

Patrick started to open up to me and I think we are going to be good friends.

I need a friend like Patrick around he and I are more alike than I care to admit.

Patric told me that his father blamed himself for his wifes death.

I told him again that I knew what it was like to resent a parent. I know what the hell I am talking about I wish he'd freakin listen to me for once.

I told Patrick that mama and Noah were lovers once and he told me he knew because of the way they look at each other.

I think honestly that with all this lying and resentment going around that I should take the high road out and just remove myself from it!

Yea right like that's going to happen!

Confidant
Dear Diary,

I told Patrick that I am not easily distracted by a man's attentive nature.

He told me he wasn't either! He told me that we should get back to what we were talking about.

I told him we could be friends.

Patrick told me he thinks he would be no good as a father. I told him that parenting can be paralyzing at first,but that I eventually got used to the idea.

Patrick got a call from Robin I wonder what the hell she wants?

I showed up at Sonny's and he asked me why I was there.

I told him I needed to pick up Morgans blanket cause he couldn't sleep without it.

God Sonny was in a testy mood I ended up telling Max to leave us alone when Max interupted us.

I told Sonny I wasn't there to butt into his business and I sensed something was wrong with him.

Sonny asked me if I really wanted to hear what happened?

I told him I would never get used to him being with another woman and that I knew he would never get used to me being with another man.

He yelled at me when I told him I could call Jason.

As usual I would not let things go! Its what I do when I am concerned about the man I love.

Sonny confided in me that he was worried that he would show Emily he was lying to her if he hid the truth when she looked into his eyes.

I told him not to show her his eyes then!

It was like old times deep down I know when Sonny loves someone he loves them completely,but is always afraid of disapointing them or causing them to get hurt by rival mob families.

I hope that he continues to talk to me because I know him! he and I are so much alike sometimes it scares me.

PATRICK
Dear Diary,

Well today I told the staff to order whatever it is they needed while Jax is out of town.

Patrick taught Michael how to put a spoon on his nose. It was so cute seeing him playing with Michael and Morgan like that.

It made me laugh.

I told the boys it was time for cake and ice cream. I think Patrick is starting to grow on me.

He is so good with my boys!

Anyways when it got late I told Latisha to take the boys home. I told them not to give Latisha a hard time before they left with her.

I called Patrick an ego maniac when he did some bragging about himself and he denied it of course.

He is so cocky and sure of himself!

I opened up to Patrick about my past and told him he should give his dad a break.

I know first hand what its like to have a strained relationship with a parent.

Mama and I never see eye to eye on anything most of the time. We both are strong willed and seriously stubborn.

I told Patrick to give his dad a chance to fix things.

Patrick asked me to dance and I accepted so we went outside.

I told him he would make a great father because of the the way he played with Michael.

He told me its not going to happen!

You know sometimes you are wrong about things and I think Patrick is one of those people who will be surprised along the way.

Once he does have kids and he holds them in his arms he will change his mind I am sure of it.

The Voice of reason
Dear Diary,

While I talked to Jason everyone in the court house saw Manny approaching Sam and talking to her.

Man she looked terrified! Jason grabbed him and pushed him up against a wall. To protect his woman.

Dad wanted to have him arrested for assaulting Manny,but the creep actually said no.

I don't but the I'm changed routine! I know everyone thinks I'm a pain in the ass,but Manny is worse than I am.

I paced up and down the hallway while Sonny and Jason talked and Sam was nowhere to be found.

I left the courthouse and showed up at Jason ans Sam's to talk to him about Sonny and Emily.

I told him that I needed a reality check and then proceeded to tell him what happened when Sonny didn't show up and pick up the boys.

I told Jason I didn't know if I was being paranoid or not,but I felt like Emily was using the boys to get closer to Sonny!

I ain't gonna have that not at all! Jason promised me that he would talk to Emily.

I went over to Sonny's and walked in on a conversation between him and Emily.

Emily left when she got a phone call and I told Sonny he and Emily were a disaster waiting to happen.

He told me not to butt into his business and I told him it wasn't about me it was about our family.

I felt that the boys would end up being confused because of all of this.

I told him he should do the right thing and let her go.

I sure as hell hope he listens to me because someone is going to get hurt.

I don't want it to be him or the boys or even Emily for that matter.

Sonny told me that he and Emily have feelings for each other.

I told him it would destroy his family and his business if the relationship continued.

He told me Jason would have to accept it.

Are you freakin kidding me? Jason is not going to ever accept the relationship between the two of them.

I know Jason did the same thing with Courtney and Sonny reacted exactly the same way,but man this is the same little girl that he and I gave the sex talk to a few years back.

I don't think its right at all, he should find a woman like Robin or Alexis at least they are tolerable to be around.

Advice for the love sick
I called Sonny because he didn't pick up the boys like I asked him too.

I am so mad at him forgetting that he has responsibilities that need taking care of.

I told him I was at work and that I needed him to take the boys.

Nikolas showed up to ask me where Courtney is. I told him I couldn't betray her confidence. He kept asking me to tell him where she is as if I would he is stupid.

Michael wasn't eating properly and I told him to get cracking and eat his food. Sometimes I wonder why that kid has to be so disrespectful? I don't know where he gets it from!

I refused to tell Nikolas where she has gone he guessed that I told Jax where she is. What is he a psychic now?

Nikolas insinutated that I am jealous of Emily and I still refused to tell him where Courtney is.

I saw Michael throw a muffin around and I told him he would not see another video game in his life time if he did it again.

I don't like being strict with him but the kid has got to learn some manners. Food is for eating not for throwing.

I finally caved and gave Nikolas Courtney's number where she is staying at.

Emily showed up and I told her to go after Nikolas,but she said no.

I told little miss prissy pants not to use my kids to get close to Sonny. I told her the romance between her and Sonny would go south because she would destroy him.

I told her I don't want her anywhere near him.

She thinks I still want Sonny she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about or does she?

I told Emily that her family and Elizabeth warned her against Sonny and for once I actually agree with Elizabeth.

She told me that Jason would accept the relationship soon enough and get used to the idea! Yea right hello can we say dillusional?

I told her I felt sorry for her because of the rape and,but I told her she doesn't understand what its like when Sonny gets agry with you.

She really is a clueless wonder, I know first hand about Sonny and his temper I sruvived and lived to tell the tale.

I even asked her if Sonny already asked her to go away with him. I know the score I've been there done that bought the tee shirt! The man is charming and will convince a woman to do anything for him.

As soon as she left I called Jason and told her that we need to talk.

I arrived back at the courthouse in time to hear Manny's sentencing.

He got off with involuntary man slaughter what a crock of crap that is.

I dragged Jason off to talk to him once the sentencing was over and left Sam on her own.

Seriously this thing with Sonny and Emily needs to be nipped in the bud.

REVENGE
Dear Diary,

So there was Jason and me out for dinner and I could see Lorenzo and Sky from where I was sitting.

Jason and me were talking about what was on my mind and I told him I knew that Lorenzo was up to something

I told Jason that I felt that bastard was going to try and frame Jason and Sonny for Manny Ruiz's shooting.

Jason told me to be ready for whatever happens and I told him I would be.

He also told me not to get in the middle of what is about to happen and I told him that I was going to do things my way.

He told me he didn't want me to stop him or Sonny for what they are about to do and I told him I wouldn't.

I gave Jase a hug before he left and I stared at Lorenzo.

I snuck into the Quartermaine mansion and I spied on Lorenzo with Sky.

When Skye left Lorenzo in the room alone I made my presence known and I told him that I would not help him anymore and that whatever Jason and Sonny got up their sleeves he better watch his step.

A SHOT RANG OUT
Dear Diary,

A shot rang out today in the courthouse! I ran into to the room to see what happened.

Emily was taking care of Manny's wound and I heard Alexis ask Jason if this is the only way he knows how to win.

I stuck up for Jason after all he's my best friend and friends got each others backs right?

Emily spoke to the paramedics and Sonny and I decided to give Jason and alibi.Dad walked in and told the cops to arrest Jason.

I told Sonny Jason was protecting Sam as always.

Jason told Alexis she was cross ing the line and I jumped down Alexis' throat.

Dad told Alexis to leave cause she was in the way and she left like an obedient little bitch that she is. Dad demanded that Sam go in the interrogation room. Jason told her that everything was going to be fine and told me he's got it under control.


I walked to GH and Patrick told me he saved that lunatics life once again and that I should tell Sonny.

I thanked him for telling me the news and judging by the look on his face Patrick was confused as hell. Ha I always knew I had that effect on a man.

I told him that Jason and Sam were Jasam is being held for attempted murder and I was relieved that it wasn't murdere.

Patrick said that I should thank him sometime and then he walked off god he's so arrogant but man he's gone and peaked my intrest.


I walked into Manny's room and asked him if he remembers what happened to him.

Manny tried to speak and then I was informed by by Robin that I shouldn't be asking questions and told me to leave.

I left in a huff and then I asked Patrick about Manny's condition.

Robin told me to back off so I decided yea I'm going to when hell freezes over.

I ran into sky and I asked her why she looked like the cat that got the creasm and she told me she and Lorenzo had a date.

Naturally I got nosey so I asked her when the date was supposed to take place and she told me this afternoon. I think I figured out what Lorenzo is up to I just have to make sure my assumption is right.

Manny's Trial
Dear Diary, So there I was in the court room and Sam continued her testimony. She shouted at both the judge and Alexis. Man the girl was on fire! She was adament about everything she said as for me I believed what she was saying. I know first hand what that freakin sicko is like. After what he did to me on that train I was terrified I had to defend myself and I know whatever Sam was saying was the god honest truth. That prick snuck into my room at Roselawn and tried to scare the living crap out of me. He then held the scalpel at my neck inside the Operating room when I was trying to stop him from killing Jason. After that disaster was over with Mama gave me the heights of shit and said she hoped I learned a lesson from all of this. God mothers sure aren't sympathetic even when your putting your ass on the line to save a friend. Anyways enough of that back to the trial or a farce of a trial as I see it. Jason finally arrived to deliver his testimony and Alexis just wouldn't shut the hell up, She gets on my last nerve that woman. I sure hope Jason makes an ass out of Alexis and Ric. They are two of the most hypocritical people I have ever met in my whole life! They have the nerve to say Jason and Sonny are bad people well what about the stuff they've done huh. Alexis killed Lorenzo's brother after her sister was killed As for my dear ex brother in law he locked me up in a panic room and tormented me! He even had me chained to a freakin' wall and neither of em paid for what they did! God here is the justice in this world when law breakers like them are defending a maniac who killed lots of people, he could have sexually assault me or Sam. He could have killed us and Alexis thinks just because someone has brain surgery to correct whatever was wrong with them has changed them into a different person yea right! People don't change over night. I admit Jason changed after he had his accident Emily mentioned that in her testimony but Jason is different he didn't go assaulting women or torturing them. I watched the whole thing intently and I have to say I was impressed by the way Jason handled himself on the stand. Alexis was badgering him and dad interjected " Your honor the defence is badgering the witness!" I thought to myself " Yea I'd say she is! The stupid bitch that she is! God I wish someone would gag her!" Dad was on fire with his objections to her line of questioning.The bitch was going down dad was taking no prisoners. Dad asked if the operation Manny had changed him in any way.Jason said " Manny is still the same disturbed mental case he's always been!" I sat there thinking " Yea no kidding!You tell them Jase! He's a freak!"I hope Jason's testimony knocks Alexis down a peg or two. She and Robin are two peas in an annoying pod.They think they are smarter than everyone else and get on their high horses when they think they are right about EVERYTHING. " You know what? I want to be the one to spook the horse and watch them fall on their self righteous asses!" I watched as Emily touched Sonny's hand and I can't say I liked it one bit. Some how I gotta get that girl away from him! I know I want Sonny back,but first I got to get back to being the old me the one he fell in love with before I am completely A 1 to be with him again. Jason and Sam wanted to leave the trial and who could blame them. Dad insulted Alexis and did not want her to call a surprise witness to the stand. She wanted Manny to testify. I was shocked as was everyone else. He admitted to doing all the things he was accused of but that the operation he had cured him of his problems. I just don't buy the I'm changed act. I guess Manny never learned that what he does affects other people and no matter what its those he hurts that will never forget his past actions. Sam freaked out again and said that she hoped that if Alexis got Manny off on all the charges that she hoped that Alexis was the first one he went after. Manny the freak claimed that Sam provoked him and that she ripped her own shirt open. I seriously doubt she would do that to herself at all or lied about getting attacked. Dad got up to cross examine Manny ,but Manny started behaving strangely.The judge put the questioning on hold of course. Once we were out of the court room Jason said that Manny was faking it and I asked him what we were going to do. Sonny said he had to protect everyone he loves and I know that includes me and my boys. I know I feel safe with Sonny and Jason around they would do anything to protect those they love.

PROMISES
Dear Diary,

I am absolutely annoyed with little miss prissy pants ordering me around like she owns my ex's home.

She continued to yell at me and shouting the odds at me I don't know where that little bitch gets off telling me what to do.

Sonny walked in the room and accused me of harrassing Emily which is by the way a bunch of bullshit. She started it.

When are people going to realize that the little prissy I'm perfect act is just that an act.

I screamed at Sonny telling him I was only there to look for Jason. How dare he accuse me of anything I stormed out angry.

Who the hell can blame me for being angry?
I still care about Sonny and I told him that too and I don't care what he says I'm independant from him.

No matter what he will always be connected to me because of my boys even when he's married to someone else.

I got a call from Courtney she is on her way to South Carolina . She told me that she broke up with Nikolas in a letter, but that she had run into him before he even read it.

She also told me that she wrote one for Jax I told her they were both going to freak. I don't know where that girls head is!

I would have done the same thing as she did,maybe its better for her to do it this way.

She made me promise I wouldn't say a word about it.

Once I got off the phone with her Jax appeared out of nowhere. I swear he's spying on me! I don't know how I am going to deal with it yet.

He pleaded with me to tell him where Courtney is but I told him I couldn't do it!

I tried so hard not to let the cat out of the bag about Courtney's whereabouts.

Unfortunately promises are like babies they are easy to make,but are hard to deliver.

This for me is so true I wound up telling him where she went.

She is so going to freaking kill me for this.

I went back to court and watched as Emily and Sam testified on the stand.

Sam looked like a petrified lamb headed for the slaughter.

Sam yelled at Alexis and she inturn raked poor Sam over the coals.

I'm actually proud of Sam she stood her ground and did not let that bitch take the wind out of her sails.

I sat and talked to Justice while all this was going on.

Sam shouted the odds at Alexis and the Judge about the line of questioning about Jason when he was not even on trial.

The judge said she would be in contempt of court if she didn't quiet down and just answer the questions.

She continued yelling at Alexis and I was silently thinking " You go girl!"

LOYALTY
Courtney and I went to the diner to have a coffee and had a long chat.

Its been along time since we had a really good natter about anything.

I am soo glad that she was confiding in me again.

I told her that I am happier now than I have ever been and that Roselawn was good for me. I have the hotel now and I hope it continues cause damn it I deserve a bit of happiness.

Courtney told me that she doesn't want to leave Nikolas. Give me a freaking break I think she really needs to assert her independance and regain her self respect. I know from experience what its like when you have two men in your life who think they know what's best for you.

If Courtney was smart she would just go and stop worrying about the prince of the drips.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying to give her advice but at least she winds up listening to me.

I went to Manny Ruiz's trial what a sick freak he is! Does he really think he has us all fooled with this I'm a new person act? "Pulease if he's a changed man than I'm mother Theresa!"

I walked in just as Alexis the bitch was cross examining Lorenzo on the stand.Later on I told Lorenzo that I could see through his good guy act and that I knew he only went after me because of my connection to Sonny.

As usual dad was his usual charming self Not! He's nothing but a hard nosed pompus arrogant jack ass!

He questioned Lorenzo and I was shocked and angry that Lorezo said Manny acted in self denfence what a freaking bastard he is.

I can not believe that he would betray me like this and the people I care about! Knowing full well what that sadistic freak did to everyone on those trains by causing them to collide like they did.

People lost their loved ones and some got injured! Alexis for one should know better she nearly lost her life as well as her daughters because of the maniac she's defending.

I jumped down Lorenzos throat and who could really blame me. I burst into tears and walked away from him and went back into the court room.

In the court room Patrick and Robin testified on Manny's behalf. Robin is such a bitch I hate her so much.

Jason was called to testify on the stand,but he didn't show up.The judge said he would be arrested if he didn't show up in court.

Sam and I both jumped up and started yelling at Alexis and at the judge he told us both to be quiet.

I don't know why the hell Jason is at fault for any of this, he wasn't the one who shot Manny! I know he wasn't!

I argued with Sam when she said Sonny had sent Jason away and I told her we had to track Jason down to bring him back or he'd get arrested.

"I really think that Jason should come back! I don't want my support system locked up!What if the boys and I need him and he's not there for us?"

I went to Sonny's Emily showed up and I argued with her.

I told little miss muffet that she and Sonny ain't ever going to happen.

She told me angrily that I should go help Courtney pack.

LOL How does she know I didn't? I helped arrange the damn trip.

That girl needs to get a clue I swear!